Tired; long day. To those that don't understand my vitriol, I'm sorry we are not on the same page. I spend my days sequestering myself away from you, trying to focus on progress...as ennui and torpor pour over my soul like syrup. Anger silently holding me, gripping me in it's mournful embrace. Forcing me to face my absence from this Life. Decades behind me, decades staring me down. Silently judging me at my lack of action..the World is before me, resplendent, her legs spread...and countless Gods stare silently down, judging...I am not a bad man...only one with low impulse control. Just like you, I was born into this: no map, blind and searching for TRUTH. For happiness that is always slightly out of reach. I will never be happy, for life and death have painted a vivid picture of terror and loss that haunts my waking moments. A pebble dropped into a pond brings on hyper-lysergic realizations of inevitability, availability, inconsistency and chance's serendipitous jealousness of Eternity.